PunchTheSphinx : Makin' Kilkenny Bearable

How to write a CV as a Teen

Everybody has done it at least once, and it’s an awful experience. The format, remembering your work experience, digging up the grades you got on the leaving and junior cert, tracking down your work experience boss and reminding him who you are to get the reference, pure suckage. Especially when they don’t remember you. After all the time ye spent together too, how could he forget you? Dickhead.

But fuck him, you’re moving onto bigger and better. You’re writing your first (or possibly 9th) CV. He’ll be jealous when your working at “Fucking Sweet Inc.” or some such. And how’d you land that job? With a CV that rocked their socks off. So lets get started…

FORMAT

There are many formats to choose from when writing a CV. Everyone seems to have slightly different variations of the same list of things. I’d recommend you have it in this order.

  • Personal Details
  • Career Objective
  • Major Achievements
  • Work Experience
  • Education
  • Skills and Abilities
  • Hobbies and Interests
  • References

Now I’ll explain each of these in further detail below.


PERSONAL DETAILS

Your name, address, phone number (mobile and landline), Email, Date of Birth, and Nationality should all be here. Don’t get fancy with any of this stuff. Just keep it plain and simple. They don’t want to know your nickname, but if everyone calls you Tom when your full name is Thomas, put down Tom. It could really fuck up your references if they ring a previous employer and they don’t remember a Thomas. If you’re called Richard though, ALWAYS put down Richard. Don’t ever be a Dick.

cv2

From when you hand in your CVs as well don’t forgot you’ve included your mobile number. So don’t answer your phone with “WHA YE WAN?”. A polite and perky “Hello?” is tons better. Friends might make fun of you for it, but they won’t be getting €6.06 – €8.65 an hour. Rollin’ in it bai!

If you include your email, check it regularly enough. 2wice a week would suffice. And date of birth goes DAY/MONTH/YEAR. Seen a few people fuck up that one.


CAREER OBJECTIVE

This one is optional. Here you basically describe what you want to get from the job. Yes, I know. Money. Dur de dur dur. They know that, what they want to see here is something like:

“To use my experience and skill-set obtained from 2 years previous experience to help care for the elderly as an assistant social care worker, with a view to becoming a fully fledged Social Care worker in the future.”

Where you’ve come from, what you want to do in the job, and where you’ll hope it will lead basically.

As a teenager though, you mightn’t have this planned out yet. It’s best to omit this section if you can’t think up anything good for it. e.g. If you’re going for work in a deli and all you got is “I luv makin sambos”, just leave it. They won’t expect it for that kind of position.

What you can do is to write one or two sentences that describe the kind of person you are. Ask yer friends or family, because your idea of your traits is a lot different that what the world outside your head perceives them.

If you’re making a CV to send en masse to alot of different companies in different areas of work, leave out this. This section is for sending a CV to a specific company in a specific area of work. e.g. Catering, Social Care etc.


MAJOR ACHIEVEMENTS

16 jagerbombs in one night isn’t a major achievement. It’s liver damage. In this section they want to see if you’ve done anything substantial for your previous employers. Yet again, as a teen, you’ve probably done fuck all. But you can count volunteer work here too. They want to see facts and figures. Results of your involvement in the company. We’ll keep with the social care theme, and as an example for that you could have:

“Spearheaded a fundraising campaign that raised €5000 for improving accessibility for disabled elderly”

They’d eat that shit up. You’ll probably need to brainstorm here for something good. Once again if you’ve got nothing substantial, lave it out!


WORK EXPERIANCE

This is the main bit of your CV. The chalk and cheese of the whole yoke. Thank fuck most schools do work experience as part of the Transition year experience. It’s invaluable. Gives you around 3 things right off the bat to put here. If you skipped TYO, ya shouldn’t of. It’s great craic! :D Anyways, here you’ll want to be listing details about your position held. Company name, contact details, duration, position, roles and responsibilities of each post you had. You can include voluntary jobs also. Put your most recent job first on the list.

The company name and those factual bits are the easy bit. It’s writing the duration (if yer shite with dates) position, roles and responsibilities that’s the tricky bit. If you worked at the tills for a shop your roles and responsibilities might be:

  • Served customers and operated cash registers.
  • Dealt with customer queries and complaints.
  • Participated in regular stocktaking.

Bullet point these and keep them short and sweet. These can be the hardest to work out. Ask your friends or parents for help and if your really stuck for what to write, ring the place you worked and get your duties. If you don’t have your official title, get your title too. You don’t say “Worked the tills”, it’s “Sales Assistant”.


EDUCATION

Here they’re after your formal education in school. Name of your school and the years you attended. If you’ve done your Leaving Cert, put the results down. List of Subjects and the respective grades beside them along with your points down the bottom. Did TYO? Add that in.

If you’ve yet to do your Leaving Cert, put down your Junior Cert results. If you’ve yet to do your Junior Cert, go outside and play for fuck sake. Cerish these years god damn it!


SKILLS AND ABILITIES

Depending on where you’re applying, you may have certain skills you’ll want to highlight to your prospective employer. If you’re applying as a life guard you’ll obviously want to show your interest in Baywatch swimming and if applying for a secretarial role, you’ll want to show you got computer skillz to pay the billz eg. An EDCL or similar.

If you’ve gotten certs for anything like leadership or did mentoring in school add them in too.

cv1

List any abilities pertaining to yourself too. Unless you’re a dick (Sorry Richard) you can nearly always put in things like “Work well within a Team” and “Time-Management”, “Fast Learner” and “Team player” are almost standards at this point.


HOBBIES AND INTERESTS

After all that you get a chance to put a personal slant on things. Showcase your hobbies and interests to them, they can say alot. If you’ve travelled abroad, include that. In a band? They’d see it as working well in a group and confidence to perform under pressure. Set up a website for the youth of Kilkenny? No you didn’t, I did. Lying makes the baba jaysus cry. Whatever it is that you do in your spare time, be it Youth Group, Youth choir, orchestra, reading or whatever. Make a list, pick the best, and put ‘em down.

Dropping some names of any big groups that you’re affiliated with is also a good idea. If you’re in the Youth Choir, the employer’s daughter might be in it too. And that’ll raise his opinion of you.

Once you just keep it positive. Don’t say you like going out every weekend and getting shitfaced, even if you do. Re-work it and say “Very active social life”. It ain’t a lie, you snaky bastard you.


REFERENCES

For the love of god, ring them before you put people down. Make sure they’ll give a good review of you if asked. If you have a great CV, ace the interview and then your prospective employer calls one of your references and they say “Richard? Oh that dick!” or “Richard who?”. You are fucked. Treble fucked in fact. It’s an instant fail and you’ll be branded a liar and cheat. In that order.

If you’re going for Car Salesman though, they’ll see it as a plus. \o/


In Summary

Well that’s about it. Some short tips. Keep it formal, positive, spell-check, don’t waffle and don’t lie. Make sure it’s under 2 pages, and if it looks squashed it is. Cut some more crap out. They don’t REALLY give a toss about that medal you got for the egg and spoon race when you were 6. I know it means the world to you, but sweet fuck all to them.

Since I’m such a saint, I put a template of all the above into a Word Document for yiz.

DOWNLOAD CV TEMPLATE HERE SUCKA!

Comments are open! You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Written By: James
Hi, I'm James. Creator of PunchTheSphinx. I've just finished my first year in Visual Communications in IADT Dun Laoghaire. Now I'm back in Kilkenny for the summer and running PunchTheSphinx again! :D Outside PTS, I play the guitar and listen to mostly metalcore and pop. I design web sites for a living outside college, including this one.

96 Responses to How to write a CV as a Teen



  1. graham says:

    haha i never got the whole Richard/dick thing! Hey im richard but people call me Dick! What!! from now on i shall call you bob, james

    nice work very very helpfull!!

  2. Thank you kind sir. Now they better ring back with the good news

  3. James says:

    Did you use the template?

  4. Ciara says:

    Thanks a million for this. Its my first time writing a CV and I had no idea where to start until now, thanks again!

  5. cv templates says:

    But a Good cv template can work for you.

  6. michelle mallon says:

    this made me laugh ha, its helpfull :)
    thanks

  7. Ciara 'Fiddy' Jackson says:

    THIS HELPED ME ALOT THANKS! IT SUCKS.. ONLY JOKING LOL! FIRST TIME WRITING A CV & DIDNT HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT TO WRITE UNTIL NOW LOOL! THANKS

  8. Katia says:

    Any ideas who I can get for my references?

  9. Shauna says:

    Hey! This was great help, but any ideas what I should put down for “Additional Educational Qualifications”? Ive my JC results for “Educational Qualifications”, obviously, but I havent finished any courses in TY yet… so ive no idea what to do.

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  11. NomNOm says:

    hahaha this is awesome! Thanks :)

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  13. EmiBlob says:

    Awww… thanks, this made me laugh but also told me what to do… different from all the shit pages I’ve seen that bore me 2 x_x

  14. Sarah says:

    Cheers man, big help! Just finished my JC mocks and I’m completely broke, so no playing for me I’m afraid!

  15. Yvonne says:

    Hon mcgoklin :P

  16. Rad says:

    This shit is great funny and very helpful, first time writting a cv for me and didnt know what to write now i do ty for the quick lesson :’)

  17. Anonymous says:

    This help soo much hopefullyvmy CV will get me a job

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  21. Jake says:

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  23. Anonymous says:

    this is hilarious. pretty stressful trying to do my first CV and this made it a lot easier, cheers

  24. Rosiie. says:

    This is amazing! *_* Thankyou soo much :D

  25. Anonymous says:

    thanks a lot, just got my LC results yesterday and I wasn’t too happy with them so I’m looking for a job and I didn’t do TY because I hated my school and wanted to get out of there as quick as fucking possible!! This made me laugh and is easier to understand than all them other sites. I tried making a CV off them ones and it looked horrendous XD anyway thanks so much for this!! Hope my CV based on this template lands me a decent job!

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  27. Impressed says:

    Fab just fab and I’m a parent of a teenager. The world needs more people like you who can connect at this level. Well done to you! p.s. Not a huge fan of swearing but it kinda works here:) (my bad!)

  28. Ben Doherty says:

    “You snaky bastard you”.. Best line

  29. Maria says:

    Thank you a lot, this is pretty rad (and incredibly helpful)

  30. Chloe says:

    Definitely the best website i’ve come across to help teenagers without being overbearing and bringing humour to something so tedious. Helped me a lot more than the rest of the shite websites i’ve visited. Thank you so much for helping it was very useful, I’ll comment back if my cv manages to land me an interview somewhere;)

  31. grace says:

    Any ida wat i could put down for work experiance haha !!!

  32. Simerz says:

    Found this so fucking amusing hahaha thanks for this, helped loads, hopefully i will get a job soon lol but cheers

  33. Sarah says:

    Brilliant! thanks :)

  34. Eadaoin says:

    This is so helpful and humorous, thanks a million!

  35. Curlywurydee says:

    hey! thanks for this really funny easy and helpful! its my first time doin a cv and by god did it help like i put sample cvs in google and loadsa boring shit came up about like a chinese girl working in intel and stuff and i was like ive no masters or phds like i need it to be for teenagers in forth year looking for part time work! thanks a million really brilliat A plus for you pal!! :)

  36. char says:

    This is amazing! It helped me so much and made me laugh along the way- a nice change from all that other boring crap online. THANKYOU!!

  37. lou lou says:

    oh thnks heaps ,this helpd a lot compared to all the other rubbish stuff out there,i really understood this one ,job here i come !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. Emanuel says:

    It’s remarkable designed for me to have a website, which is good in support of my experience. thanks admin

  39. Lionel says:

    Howdy just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The
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  40. thomas says:

    thanks for this but what do you do if you have no work exspirience

  41. harry says:

    thanks so much this info was really helpful :)

  42. Courtney says:

    I’ve been dreading this for weeks but this made it so much easier to actually sit down and get it done (plus making me laugh) Thank you so much :)

  43. Caitlyn says:

    Hi,
    Please don’t swear on a teen website.Its just plain rude and your just doing it for the sake of it but it was really good advice! :)

  44. laura says:

    james i love you <3

  45. Mind Other's Values! says:

    You may want to stop typing swear words…. you might just put some people off???

  46. Ethan says:

    You are a hero ! cheers :)

  47. name says:

    that was brilliant! Could never fully understand how to write a cv, this informal funny tutorial made it so much easier to understand!

  48. Ciara says:

    You are feckin hilarious ahaa, thanks for the help :)

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    Fab

  51. Jess says:

    Very helpful, thank you!

  52. charlotte says:

    this was very helpful, I am only 14 but I needed a CV for volunteer work, thanks a bunch :)

  53. Annie says:

    Dude awesome advice..you spelt work experience wrong ;)

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    “It could really fuck up your references if they ring a previous employer and they don’t remember a Thomas. If you’re called Richard though, ALWAYS put down Richard. Don’t ever be a Dick.”

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